Happiness on Oprah

Today's Oprah was about happiness - a subject I am intimately acquainted with, albeit in the wrong way just now.

I took her 5-question quiz and came out to a 20 (out of a possible 35). Not great, but maybe even a little better than I expected given the way I've felt lately. [I was really stunned that Dan only got 18, though. He's more pathetic than me!]

Here, for future reference is the quiz:

In most ways, my life is close to ideal. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 The conditions of my life are excellent. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 I am satisfied with my life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 So far I have gotten the important things I want in life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Afterwards they had a very interesting author, Robert Holden. He's a British psychologist who specializes in the study of happiness and has written a book called "Happiness Now". He had a few interesting concepts including: "Destination Addiction" where you think you'll be happy when you get a certain thing or reach a certain point. Of course you never are, because you simply set another destination.

He also talked about people who are martyrs and take themselves out of their own lives. He said in a way they die before they die. Sad but possibly true. And he discussed how our perceptions shape - create, actually - our lives and world views more than our circumstances and the "law of attraction" so popular from the book/DVD "The Secret". There was a bit more too - I'll have to read the website or maybe even his book. I hope there's hope for me; I'm so miserable.

But I feel even more awful that Dan's so miserable. If he feels as bad as I do, it's pretty bad. I have waves of nausea in my stomach and arms and legs. They just sweep over me. I hate that I make him feel bad, though. It's far worse than feeling bad myself. He doesn't need me. He could be in a little house on an island by the ocean doing music somewhere. He doesn't need me, useless, pining and heartbroken for the family he doesn't even want.

More info: http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200704/tows_p
ast_20070411.jhtml