First Day of Summer Vacation

Of all the days in the entire year, there is only one first day of summer vacation ... and this is it!!!!!

So far I'm still full of vim and zeal - up just after seven, walked dogs, made bread, did laundry, tidied my drawer full of Cd's (a task I'd put off for ages) which is now two drawers half-full of Cd's. Still to come: brownies, hanging up the just-finished laundry, a session of EA Sports Active, supper, another walk and more. As the days go by, though, I expect my pace to slow down steadily. You simply don't realize how weary you are at the end of a school year until you sit and settle and let it sink in.

Summer goals? Modest as usual. No vacation plans (no summer vacation for Dan) although I'd love a little weekend getaway to somewhere. Mainly we need to tidy out the basement - More. Again. (Or still.) I'm going to Wii a little almost every day. And I'm going to write a journal/blog/something regularly. My goal is four times a week, which I think is reasonable. My topics won't be earth shattering - just the typical thoughts, feelings, events of a typical life. Mainly I want to hone my writing skills - or at least not let them deteriorate too badly.

Et c'est tout. Bonne première journée d'été!

Birthday Horoscopes

Well, here it is, that annual time of year when what is to lie ahead for me is supposedly revealed. I take it all with a huge grain of salt ... but it is sort of fun to record for posterity. This year's predictions are mixed; doesn't sound as if anything fantastic is due to happen. But I would happily settle for safety, stability and security for me and all I love.

So here goes ...

From canoe.ca (Eugenia Last):

Happy Birthday: Take control and you can put the things that have been hovering over you the past few years to rest. If you continue to wait for someone else to do the dirty work, it will turn out to be a disappointing year. You have what it takes to get what you want if you believe in your abilities and put fear of failure aside. Your numbers are 8, 12, 16, 19, 28, 39, 45

Birthday Baby: You are changeable, emotionally sensitive and passionate about what you do. You are open, well-meaning, generous and intense.

From horoscope.com

Happy Birthday! The months ahead are likely to start on a slightly anxious note: a past matter could resurface to cause a few ripples. Dealing with it immediately will bring peace of mind. Communications are likely to go off-beam in December, but it could be that a series of minor errors and mix-ups leads to a stroke of good luck! The New Year period may bring about a welcome change of scenery. In February promotions and advancements will be very well aspected, but you may believe that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew in March, although by May you’ll be very keen to build on earlier successes. The summer sees you getting plenty of support in your field, but August is the month where you need to keep the momentum going, in terms of your career, despite numerous distractions!

From Holiday Mathis (Creators Syndicate Inc.) as seen in Los Angeles Times

Today's birthday (Oct. 8): The next four weeks bring a surprise boost to your bank balance. You're so charmingly irresistible as you party through the holidays that you simply can't stay single. Couples purchase property. Sagittarius and Pisces adore you. Your lucky numbers are 14, 53, 49, 11 and 18.

from Phil Booth (thestar.com - Toronto)

If today is your birthday: You have been chipping away at a pile of reasons why a dream cannot come true. Now the barrier between you and success is virtually gone.

from Cafeastrology.com

If Today is Your Birthday: October 8

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The Year Ahead

Forecast for October 2008 to October 2009

In your Solar Return chart this year, Mercury and the Sun trine the North Node, indicating that you will make contact through learning, communicating, and mental pursuits. This indicates an intellectually stimulating year in which the exchange of ideas with others figures prominently. You are likely to form new relationships or connections that further your spiritual growth, or to enhance existing relationships with a spirit of camaraderie. People in authority regard you favorably. Events take place in which you feel you are moving forward and growing into a new phase of your life.

With the Sun and Mercury square Jupiter in your Solar Return chart, there will be times when you are inclined to overdo things or to promise more than you can deliver due to an optimistic, but not necessarily realistic, attitude. Your eyes may be bigger than your stomach. You may feel vague restlessness and discontent with life as it is, although you are generally in a happy mood. Elevated moods could also be rather unstable, as they may not be based on reality. Channeled well, this energy can represent creative power.

Venus in harmonious aspect to Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus suggests that you are more accepting and understanding of your friends and lovers this year. Contentedness in love is likely to figure and to attract positive circumstances (and people) into your life. This influence can indicate favorable outcomes when it comes to legal affairs, education, and travel. This year, you’re bound to enjoy increased social opportunities as well as a boost in your personal popularity and magnetism. Others are looking on you favorably, particularly friends and lovers (or potential lovers). You are more friendly, optimistic, and big-hearted than usual. A cheerful and hopeful outlook increases your chances of gaining cooperation from others. This is a sociable, and perhaps self-indulgent, time when the pursuit of pleasure is one of your high priorities! You could find that you are more open and trusting of friends and lovers, and that you easily win others‘ trust. Healthy speculation is favored. Financial benefits may come your way. Some people fall in love under this influence. Certain elements of your social and financial life are stabilized, secured, and more reliable this year. You may solidify a romantic relationship under this influence, or become involved with a mature partner.

This could be a strong year for financial undertakings involving electronics, technology, the internet, metaphysics, and the arts, as well as group activities. You have a taste for the offbeat this year, and this energy can bring sudden or unexpected romance into your life, perhaps a scenario that feels like love at first sight.

With Venus also square Neptune, err on the side of caution when it comes to matters that appear too good to be true. Also, watch for unrealistic expectations.

With Jupiter in harmony to Saturn at the time of your birthday this year, a period of constructive accomplishment is ahead. In general, you are practical, realistic, and your judgment is especially sound--and you derive much satisfaction from your work. The key to harnessing this wonderful energy is to identify and find pleasure in the simple things that make you happy. A nice balance between optimism and practicality is with you this year.

In the year ahead, financial, social, and romantic experiences are especially rewarding. Your more lenient and contented attitude towards others tends to bring positive circumstances into your life. A tendency to take on more than you can realistically handle should be watched, however. Despite some minor disappointments due to overinflated expectations, your social life and finances stabilize and satisfy overall.

2008 is a Number One year for you. Ruled by the Sun. This is a year of action. The seeds you plant now, you will reap later. Others might find you less sociable, as you are busier than ever and you focus on your activities and your needs. Still, you are outgoing and your initiative is stronger than ever. Advice - Stand alone, take action, start fresh, express independence.

2009 will be a Number Two year for you. Ruled by the Moon. This is a year of potential companionship. It is a quiet, gentle, and mostly harmonious year that is less active than other years. Instead, you are more responsive to the needs of others. If you are patient and open yourself up in a gentle manner, you will attract both things and people. This is an excellent year in which to build and develop for the future. Advice - be patient, be receptive, enjoy the peace, collect.

from Jeraldine Saunders - the one that was in the Montreal Gazette (although I found the digital version at thechronicleherald.ca - Nova Scotia)

IF OCTOBER 8 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Waste not; want not. For the next six weeks you may feel that you can kick back and smell the roses, or trust luck to carry you through — but in reality there is something pressing that you need to pay attention to in the background. Don’t ignore your responsibilities or make any major changes between now and the end of the year. The best time to make crucial changes such as moving to a new home, launching a new business project or changing jobs, is the first two weeks of March. That is when you could meet someone of importance to your life, too.

from Jacqueline Bigar (as seen in the Houston Chronicle and the Daily Athanaeum)

Born today: You make the impossible possible this year -- if you are willing to walk the untrodden path. You often are not sure about a risk, being somewhat of a cautious sign. Do remember, though, that if you don’t risk, you will get nothing. If you are single, nobody will deny your appeal. You will get evidence to that fact, like it or not. If you are attached, the two of you start acting like old lovers once more. How wonderful! AQUARIUS knows how to pique your interest! Enjoy this person to the max.

July 2nd and 3rd, 2008

Even though Google may have neglected us (no special logo yesterday apparently) I'm here to make my Canada Day contribution.

Recently papers have published a list of the top 100 things that symbolize Canada. There were regional variations, of course, but plenty of commonalities too. I purposely didn't read through the entire list because I wanted to make my own. So, as they say, without further ado (and in no particular order other than the way they come out of my head), here goes ... (hope I can make it all the way to 100!)

1. the maple leaf (as a logo on our flag etc.)
2. the Rockies
3. Niagara Falls
4. the Gaspé peninsula
5. poutine
6. tourtière
7. salmon
8. dulse
9. Anne of Green Gables
   
10. L. M. Montgomery
11. bilingualism
    
12. French immersion
13. Celine Dion
14. Anne Murray
15. Gordon Lightfoot
16. Stuart MacLean and his Vinyl Cafe
17. hockey
18. lacrosse
19. the Montreal Canadiens
20. Pierre Trudeau
21. Norman Bethune
22. peacekeepers
23. the Cabot Trail
24. loons
25. moose
26. beaver
27. bears
    
28. Canada geese
29. snow geese
30. the Newfoundland dog
31. the Nova Scotia Duck Toller Retriever dog
32. the Annapolis Valley
33. the Okanagan Valley
34. the Canadian Pacific Railroad
35. the motto "from sea to sea to sea"
    (or, I suppose, A Mari usque ad Mare usque ad Mare)
36. Jacques Cartier
37. the Voyageurs
38. Samuel de Champlain
39. the Hudson Bay Company
40. the fur trade
41. inukshuks
42. the Prairies
43. Churchill Manitoba's polar bears
44. Percé
45. the CBC
46. the St. Lawrence river ... oh no, stuck at 46!!!
    
47. (later) snowstorms
48. ice storms
49. igloos
50. Vieux Québec & the Plains of Abraham
    
51. the Quebec winter carnival & Bonhomme Carnaval
    
52. the Halifax explosion
53. Signal Hill Newfoundland
54. standard time (Sanford Fleming)
55. Alexander Graham Bell and the telephone
56. James Naismith and basketball
57. canoes
58. kayaks
59. the Great Lakes
60. confederation (1867 Charlottetown)
    
61. medicare
62. maple trees
63. the Yukon gold rush
64. dog sledding
65. dinosaurs - especially in Alberta's badlands
66. Wayne Gretzky
67. figure skating
68. skiing (downhill and cross-country)
69. the Acadians
70. Gaelic
71. Native Peoples: ex. the Iroquois confederacy (6 tribes) and
    Shanadithit, last of the Beothuks
72. Viking settlements in Newfoundland
73. "In Flander's Fields" by John MacRae
74. 2nd largest country in the world!!!
75. whales (esp. narwhals - unicorns of the sea)
76. seals (and, sadly, the seal hunt)
77. "The Road to Avonlea" TV series
78. hydroelectricity
79. wheat fields
80. Algonquin Park
81. Upper Canada Village
82. the RCMP - especially the Musical Ride
83. the Snowbirds (Canadian forces precision flyers)
84. snowbirds (people who go south for the winter)
85. (continued July 3rd - this is tough!) the Bluenose
86. loonies and toonies
87. forestry
88. mining - coal, nickel and now diamonds
89. cultural mosaic
90. the C. N. Tower
91. the Calgary Stampede
92. Banff (and other touristy towns like Jasper and Whistler)
    
93. the Rideau Canal
94. Parliament Hill
95. Bryan Adams
96. Upper Canada Village
97. the Trans Canada Trail (walking/biking)
98. the Trans Canada Highway
99. totem poles
100. home - the greatest country in the world (at least for me:)
     

---

Whew ... that was a lot harder than I thought. Coming up with a list of 100 anything is difficult. And I know if I go and read the original list now I'll be smacking myself on the head and saying "how could I possibly have forgotten x?" So I think for now I just won't read it! A belated "Happy Canada Day" to all.

Stuart MacLean's Writing Advice

A month or two back on an edition of Vinyl Cafe, Stuart decided to give some advice to aspiring writers. His biggest secret? He really isn't any better a writer than anyone else. The main difference is that he thinks he is a writer. His first drafts aren't great - again no better than yours or mine - but he keeps at, it knowing that by the seventh, eighth or ninth drafts he will have something decent. For him a deadline looming also gives that added incentive to stick at it - or get to it in the first place. But in short, there is no secret. Just believe you're a writer and write, write and write again until you have become one.

More Harry ...

      I was supposed to be watching J.K.Rowling's reading of the first chapter of "Deathly Hallows" but Bloomsbury.com didn't quite come through. Maybe just a few too many (millions) were trying to log in at the same time. Anyway, it should be available for the next few weeks. Maybe I can get it tomorrow AM before the book itself arrives. Correction: just watched it and it was awesome! The setting in London's Natural History Museum was perfect and Rowling read wonderfully. Only the first chapter and there has already been a murder! Voldemort killed former Hogwart's "Muggle Studies" teacher Charity Burbage. He was also droning on about defending pure bloods from contamination - sounding altogether too Hitler-ish for my liking, although it definitely isn't the first time I've noticed it. And he emphasized that he alone must - and will - be the one to kill Harry Potter.
      So this is the last day ever that I can speculate. (It's like Christmas evening only without the stresses; HOW will I ever get to sleep tonight???) Tomorrow I'll sequester myself far away from any possible spoilers and read, read, read, read, read! (I finished rereading "Half-Blood Prince" today - the refresher was useful.) Looking at the Gazette's five possible endings writers proposed last Saturday, I'm partial to Louise Penny's. She believes it's actually Neville Longbottom who fulfills the prophecy (and sadly dies in the process along with Snape, who was a good guy after all). Dumbledore lives. Harry and Ginny wed as do Ron and Hermione. All in all quite happy and satisfying. I fear, though, the real thing may be a little darker.
      Nonetheless, here is my proposed ending albeit a little sketchy on the details. Dumbledore isn't dead; he rises like Aslan in Narnia. Somewhat regrettably (he isn't the most likable fellow) Snape does indeed turn out to have been on the side of good. He dies in the final battle with You Know Who, eliciting a twinge of sympathy from all those who thought the worst of him. Most importantly, Harry Potter does emerge triumphant (and more importantly alive). BUT ... a tiny bit (the last 1/7 th) of Voldemort's soul escapes, signaling that there will never be complete good in the world. And, sadly, in the battle Harry uses up all his magical powers and becomes no more potent than a muggle. But now, with the perspective of "one of us" and giving recognition to all the good muggles whose love helped in that battle, he urges all of us to continue the fight for good throughout our lives. Thus we all, in a sense, become magical and we all have the power - and the duty - to strive against all evil, cruelty, and injustice in the world. And in so doing the whole world actually does become a better place! All thanks to a book about a boy wizard and an author who is magical in her own right. (P.S. Harry and Ginny do wed; so do Ron and Hermione and they all live happily ever after as they so justly deserve.)

Two Days to Harry Potter!

      Just two days to the newest - and last - Harry Potter. Number seven: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I am so excited! This is definitely the biggest book-related event I've ever been part of; the biggest in all of history, actually. The only thing comparable is the release of Dickens' serialized stories in the 1800's. People desperately anticipated the latest chapter and were absolutely devastated when Little Nell died in "The Old Curiosity Shop". (Hope J. K. Rowling doesn't follow his example with Harry!) But of course back then you didn't have massive world-wide distribution or the multimedia world of radio, TV and Internet. All week has been story after story about past adventures and speculation on what the outcome will be. (Harry was on the cover of The Gazette last Saturday ... and two other sections besides!) People have waited ten long years for this magical moment.
      Being a lucky Canadian, we actually get a sneak preview tomorrow night. Rowling is doing a special reading of the first chapter of Harry in London at midnight. There. That happens to be only 7:00 here. So I'll have plenty of time to listen and still be able to be tucked into bed (I'm not a Potter-party type person) ready to get up early and await the arrival of my pre-ordered copy - coming by a special Saturday Canada Post delivery.

MP3 ... Not!

When I went for my morning walk today I was thinking at first, "Gee, I should have brought along my little mp3 player." I could have listened to some of my favourite cd's, music I've downloaded and haven't even heard yet, or just to the radio. But as I strolled along the lake shore, I realized how silly that would have been. I had the sound of waves right beside me, the wind rustling the leaves, and the songs of so many different types of birds. There's a time and place for man made music (say when I'm cooped up at school) but today I was listening to the most beautiful melodies ever created.

Concert for Diana

Yesterday, besides being Canada's 140th anniversary would have been Princess Diana's 46th birthday. To celebrate her life, Princes William and Harry organized an awesome 6-hour extravaganza. Many of her favourite artists performed to raise money for her favourite charities. Interspersed were pictures, videos and interview with those whose lives Diana touched. Again I was reminded of what a tragic loss to the world her death was. Already it's been ten years - imagine how much good she might have done in that time! I have to say I just can't understand why she was taken so young; the reason is far beyond my comprehension.

However I certainly could understand and appreciate this concert. I didn't watch the whole thing, but I saw probably more than half. It turns out we have some similar tastes - in particular a fondness for musicals, including those of Andrew Lloyd Webber. For me the absolute highlights of the show came during a tribute to him. The first was Josh Groban and Sarah Brightman singing "All I Ask of You". It was followed shortly after by a medley of songs from "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat" with three of the actors who have played Joseph - including Donny Osmond. Now I am absolutely smitten by Josh and I have always had a soft spot for Donny, at the very least in a big-brotherly sort of role. (Although as a little sister I'd have to say he's been eating a bit too much good cooking lately!)

Migrating Day

Though the beginning of May seems almost too late, it seemed to be a big migration day for geese. (I guess these are the wise ones who wait for fine weather to travel; April was a little chilly.) I saw - and heard - dozens of flocks, hundreds of geese. Some of them were so low (and right overhead) that I could see their white bellies and goose-shaped shadows on the pavement. I could watch them changing positions and forms too. One goose was speeding up from the back of the line, ready to take his turn as leader.

I love the annual spring and fall migrations. They are truly awesome - in the most inspirational sense of the word. I never fail to be amazed by the spectacle, how diligently and purposefully they fly ... and how far! The wonder of creation is there clear as day and always makes me feel more alive.

I also saw a frog today: a rare occurence at any time, but particularly on a still chilly morning in early May. He was quite a tubby greyish-brownish-greenish fellow trying (without complete success) to camouflage himself against the rocks along the shoreline. I do so love being close to nature; it makes being near a big city much more palatable. Last week I saw the first heron of the season, and today there were some interesting new ducks - white in the middle; black on both ends - who dove with great rapidity into the water ... and popped up just as quickly.

What a great morning!

Vista Frustrations

Microsoft Windows Vista is without a doubt the most frustrating operating system I have ever encountered ... and I haven't even installed it yet!

In fact, I have yet to receive it. My sad saga began with my first Vista Upgrade order back in February. When I checked back after the requisite 4-week waiting period, I was told my order had never been completed - they couldn't say why. So I sent in a second order April 3rd. According to the website (which I just checked yesterday morning) it was confirmed, although not shipped. Then last night I got a disconcerting email saying that technical difficulties had caused my order to be canceled and I had to resubmit. So I tried doing that this morning - only to be told my all-important COA number could not be validated. AARGH!!!!!

So I called them (fortunately I had saved the call centre number because the one in the email was incorrect - it took me to the Cordon Bleu Cooking School!). And according to the lady I spoke with my April order seems fine and the email probably referred to the February order.

It better have. What a pathetic operation. Apparently they are weeks behind with their shipping. There's nothing to do since I'm supposedly "confirmed" and there is nothing she could see wrong with the order; it's just pending shipping. But here's the catch: if there is an order problem and you haven't submitted a new order by April 30th you're out of luck.

I know I'm my own worst enemy. I shouldn't be feeling my heart pounding and my blood pressure rising over this. I shouldn't have my sleep disturbed and be fretting over something that is so insignificant in the vast scheme of things. But I don't handle stress well at all (at least not this kind of stress; I'm much better in a classroom full of thirty teenagers). And it's the principle of the thing. I bought a laptop (which I love, by the way, regardless of the operating system installed) that included a free upgrade to Vista Home Premium and I WILL get what I'm entitled to.

Even though I may not even install it. Certainly not right away. I'm very happy with the XP Media Centre Edition that I have, and what I've read about Vista hasn't convinced me there is any urgent need to upgrade. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm concerned about their draconian security measures that necessitate authorizing every little action. I think if you use safe computing practices you should be OK. I'm especially concerned about programs - including Zone Alarm - that wouldn't run. And I'm wondering if it isn't a bit of a memory and resource hog too. As the old adage goes: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". And for now I'm contented. Probably the time will come when bugs are smoothed out and software is happily compatible, but I don't think it's quite here yet. And I'm toying with the idea of getting Dan a new computer for his birthday. It would automatically come with Vista, so I'd get to play around with all the new bells and whistles then.

We'll I'm feeling a little better now. A long walk by the lake helped. So did "writing it out". I really have to learn to deal with stress more effectively or I'm sure never going to see 100!

Regardless, I'd better get my copy of Vista eventually or, as my mom used to say, there's going to be "H-E-double hockey sticks" to pay!

Virginia Tech - April 16, 2007

It happened again.

A sick young man with what one reporter called a "hole in his soul" killed thirty-two innocent people at Virginia Tech last Monday. One of them was a French professor, Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, formerly of Montreal.

Another was a 76 year old professor, Liviu Librescu, a Romanian who had survived the Holocaust only to die in his own classroom. But he died a hero, blocking the door for as long as he could while his students escaped out the windows.

Most, of course, were students who died tragically and far, far too young.

There are so many issues to write about: Should guns be better controlled, even outlawed? (Virginia has some of the laxest laws in the U.S., but who are we in Montreal to cast stones after the École Polytechnique, Concordia, and only months ago Dawson.) Should NBC have aired video footage that the killer sent them? (Absolutely not, in my opinion; it only gives him the publicity and attention he craved and maybe even inspires other deranged individuals to follow suit.) Were the police as efficient as they could have been - two full hours elapsed between the initial two murders in a dormitory and the classroom carnage that followed.

One thing I have to say I admired immensely, though, was the way the school - the nation - dealt with the aftermath. The next day there was an incredible memorial ceremony including the president of the country and a huge candlelight vigil. The depth of the faith of those involved was clear and clearly was a help and a comfort. I think that's something we've done poorly here. We don't create a sense of community and fellowship; people are left largely on their own to mourn and to cope as best they can.

And I particularly liked poet Nikki Giovanni's address (and also learned she is neither male, Italian nor especially old - possibly dead - as I had thought). The lines that most moved me were these:

We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly,
we are brave enough to bend to cry,
and we are sad enough to know that we must laugh again.

We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid.
We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be.
We are alive to the imaginations and the possibilities.
We will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears
and through all our sadness.

May all the innocent victims and their families be comforted and blessed. Amen

lots to be thankful for

Well I was a pretty gloomy puss yesterday, and it's not that I've recovered so much today. But reading the posts on Oprah's bulletin board reminded me that I am so lucky compared to so many. So I started thinking about all the things I have to be thankful for and it's a quite a lengthy list, including (albeit with a few qualifiers!) ...

• good health (well except for feeling depressed currently)
• a nice body - lean without making too much effort
  
• Dan
• my sweet doggies, Topaze and Hershey, and their wonderful predecessors Perky and Nicky
• my family - especially Mommy, Daddy and Auntie Bessie. (sure wish they were here, though)
• my house - spacious and full of potential; with a little TLC it will be spectacular!
• living in probably the best place on the entire planet: Canada!
• being so near to a beautiful waterfront that I can see and walk every single day
• a job I love and feel fulfilled in (usually!), with good pay and even lots of time off
• Dan finally having a good job with decent pay and - hopefully - stability
• winning a $2000 gift card to start the year - and the new 37" LCD TV we got with it
• my intelligence
• my love of reading - and all the books in my library
• libraries in general (bookstores too)
• my comfy lazyboy
• writing (sometimes!)
• delicious food - and plenty of it

Not a bad list, and I'll probably think of more as soon as I post this.

Essentially my sole problem is a lack of children. But it sure is a big problem. I know even according to research having children is no guarantee of happiness; there are happy moments but lots of not so great moments too. Not having them, however, is definitely not a guarantee of happiness - especially if it was an absolutely key ambition. In fact, there is a baby-sized hole in my heart that I don't think anything will ever be able to fill.

Happiness on Oprah

Today's Oprah was about happiness - a subject I am intimately acquainted with, albeit in the wrong way just now.

I took her 5-question quiz and came out to a 20 (out of a possible 35). Not great, but maybe even a little better than I expected given the way I've felt lately. [I was really stunned that Dan only got 18, though. He's more pathetic than me!]

Here, for future reference is the quiz:

In most ways, my life is close to ideal. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 The conditions of my life are excellent. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 I am satisfied with my life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 So far I have gotten the important things I want in life. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Afterwards they had a very interesting author, Robert Holden. He's a British psychologist who specializes in the study of happiness and has written a book called "Happiness Now". He had a few interesting concepts including: "Destination Addiction" where you think you'll be happy when you get a certain thing or reach a certain point. Of course you never are, because you simply set another destination.

He also talked about people who are martyrs and take themselves out of their own lives. He said in a way they die before they die. Sad but possibly true. And he discussed how our perceptions shape - create, actually - our lives and world views more than our circumstances and the "law of attraction" so popular from the book/DVD "The Secret". There was a bit more too - I'll have to read the website or maybe even his book. I hope there's hope for me; I'm so miserable.

But I feel even more awful that Dan's so miserable. If he feels as bad as I do, it's pretty bad. I have waves of nausea in my stomach and arms and legs. They just sweep over me. I hate that I make him feel bad, though. It's far worse than feeling bad myself. He doesn't need me. He could be in a little house on an island by the ocean doing music somewhere. He doesn't need me, useless, pining and heartbroken for the family he doesn't even want.

More info: http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200704/tows_p
ast_20070411.jhtml

Why I Want My Bedroom Back

I am tired of renovations. Here are my top reasons I want my bedroom back:

1. I miss my music cd's!
2. I want my cedar chest so my bedding smells nice.
3. I want my clothes!!!!!
4. I want a bigger bed with more room for me, my doggies (and my sweetie too!)
5. I want to be able to watch TV in bed.
6. I want our bathroom back.